Hello holly berries!

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season.  Mine started off a little rough, but I am on the mend both physically and mentally. 2012 is going to be a great year.  We are going to make it a great year.

 I haven’t started my Christmas shopping yet.  That’s right, I am shopping this year. In years past, I have made most of my gifts, but I have to admit I kind of missed the commercialism of Christmas a bitJ. I miss the sales and the sparkle and the wrapping paper and Christmas music and the traffic and the people.  I know it seems insane.   I think it stems from my dichotic childhood. 

I had one grandmother with a real cut Christmas tree (I still love the smell of cedar more than any scent you can buy), old fashioned ornaments and a big home cooked Christmas breakfast. She i a make do kind of lady who rarely bought anything that wasn’t useful.   It was a cozy Emmitt Otter kind of Christmas with frozen ponds and wood stoves.  I loved it.

My other grandmother had all the sparkle, the latest and greatest.  I think she rarely bought anything that was useful.  She had an artificial tree covered in flashy garland and brightly colored balls.  The whole living room was decorated with nativities and Santas..  She had a giant record player that seemed to play Gene Autry non-stop the whole season.  She even had a candy dish full of ribbon candy…and yes, we had to pry it apart with a knife.

I had the best of both-- a down-home country Christmas and a kitschy, sparkly Christmas.  Fast forward a few years and you have my chaos.  Primarily, my house is decorated in primitive and handmade Christmas items.  I made my own feather tree and decorated it with antique and handmade items.  The first impression would probably be a pioneer/early Victorian Christmas. And I love it.

But in one corner of my house, I cannot get away from that other side of me that likes sparkle.  It takes all the strength I can muster to resist purchasing all that beautiful glittery stuff I see at places like Hobby Lobby. I try to keep it real… as in vintage.  I have a small vintage aluminum tree, vintage shiny brites in those fabulous lime green and orange colors, bubble lights, and even a gaudy eggnog set. I even bought working vintage Christmas lights, but I am afraid to use them as they smell a little strange when I plug them in.   I have dancing Santas and glitter reindeer.  Christmas houses and candle rings.   I like to think of this as my 1950’s space age style Christmas area.  And yes, I even purchased a candy dish which I plan on filling with a lump of ribbon candy.

Right now I try to keep these personalities separate, but I look forward to the day when I can mesh the two.  It won’t make any sense to anyone but me, and those who grew up like I did.  This might also explain why some nights you will find me hammering out my primitive tin lanterns in the garage wearing a big bow in my hair and silver polish on my nails.  I heard you can be useful or ornamental.  I think I want to be both.  Like Rosie the Riveter.  My mom says mine is a life of contradictions.  I have the latest electronics (married a programmer) and earliest tinsmith machines.  I have handmade brooms and a Floormate.  I have bells and whistles and rustic charm.  I guess for me, it’s a not really that hard to reconcile, it’s just home and I love it. 

To all those primitive people with the dancing Santa hiding in your closet, bring him out and proudly display him next to your hand carved nativity… I promise it will be ok. 

My Cherry Dress

This had started out being one of those posts where I recap the year and tell you all the good things and the bad things that happened.  I changed my mind.  No sense living in the past, except to say that I had the best year with my art and I appreciate everyone who supports me. I hope next year is just as good in that aspect of my life. As for the rest of my life? Well….

Marilyn Monroe once said something like “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”.  2012 is going to be the year better things fall together.  Here is how it’s going to start: A Cherry Dress.

For small business Saturday, my sister and I went to a local boutique, where I bought a cherry dress. It is a beautiful dress, made in America.  It was so beautiful that my skinny sister bought the same one. J  I have been looking at this dress for a while, but I was afraid to even try it on.  I’m shaped a little odd and most of the clothes do good just to cover most of my parts.  I usually just shop out of necessity.   But this dress?  My sister made me try it on. I had to suck up all my insecurities and self-shame and put on this dress.  And this was after her perfect frame fit perfectly into the same exact dress. It took every ounce of inhibitions I had left to go into that fitting room.   It is totally unlike anything I have worn in years or ever.  It’s a halter dress.  I don’t even have the right kind of unmentionables for this dress.  It doesn’t hide my chest, or my arms or any of the other parts I try to cover with sweaters etc.

When I put this dress on, I am sure I looked like a one of those commercial wrapped cars, but I felt like Marilyn Monroe (sure shorter and rounder with roots showing,  but still).  I purchased my dress. And I bought it a size smaller than I needed.  Since that day, I have been trying to eat better and exercise because I will fit into that dress. And I will get up the nerve to wear that dress to work and to the grocery store and to vacuum my carpet if I so feel like it.  I am going to buy red heels to wear with that dress. I am going to show my knobby knees and my chunky calves in that dress.  I am going to take a picture of me in that dress and do something I have never done… post it right here on my blog.  And I will tell you something else, I have already picked out another dress. And its even a size smaller than the cherry dress because once I fit into that cherry dress, I am going to start working to fit into my other new dress.

This dress is how I am going to turn my life around in 2012.  I am going to leave my comfort zone to see if things don’t fit a little better out there.  Too many times I opt for the frumpy sweater to hide my insecurities. I think people around me can pick up on that, and then it’s like a feeding frenzy.  And I am not just talking about dresses.  There are people out there who take advantage of the fact that some of us are afraid to leave our comfort zones.  They see it as an opportunity to bully or as a way to make themselves seem bigger than us. Those people are going to have to deal with my red heels and bare arms in 2012.   

I challenge everyone out there to buy a cherry dress and wear it.